ragged.

that's what my face feels like. the skin. kinda gross. i wish i could take it off scrub it... soak it in some aloe vera and put it back on. baby soft.

so much rolling in my brain again. i'm frustrated.

i can't have what i want.

hmmmmmm. what'dya think about that. been there done it?

mmmhmm. when things are hard what do you do? my first instinct is go to the ones you love. then when that doesn't work, go to the next in line. but what if you can't and in the end you seemingly are alone? it's at that point where the Lord calls your name and your security. that peace in your heart is only because of him.

that's me. seemingly daily. so many times i want to run. to or from somewhere or someone.

okay - not so abstract... i want to go home for Christmas... i do. i think that Jesus wants me to. practically have the 24-26th off. i could do it. it's really expensive... so then i wish i could go to greenville... but not so much. not yet... spring time perhaps.

so i wait.
i am eating yogurt and crackers. i feel sick if i don't eat. blech.

anyway so many more thoughts now too. did you know i want to get married and be loved? also, how come every boy seems to be married?!!!!! all the good ones - snatched up too quickly.

i am going to read. because i can and then i'm going to bed. i love to sleep.

B