Created to worship and Captivating.

Created to Worship by Rita Springer

I am your sacrifice
I am your offering
I was created to worship you
Theres nothing I could bring
That would mean more then this one thing
I was created to worship you.

You are all I have
All I have is you
You are all I am
All I am is you

Whatever you ask of me
There's no one I'd rather be
Then one created to worship you
In all that comes my way
Poverty fame or pain
I was created to worship you

Without you there's nothing Lord
Now and forevermore
I was created to worship you

So last month in our Song of Solomon "Dating Class" we discussed Sexuality and Chris Hippe (also my immediate manager) reminded us that not only are we spiritually created to worship God, but we are to do the same with our bodies. Heart, mind, body and soul. I am created to worship. I love the first two lines of this song, "I am your sacrifice, I am your offering." It makes me think of the sacrifices and offerings Israel did as a form of worship... I started thinking about what described those sacrifices and these are some of the characteristics I came up with...

a test of faith, a portion, burning, purity, becoming nothing, a piece set apart, pleasing aroma, do anything for, giving away of something, giving back a portion of what has been given, a declaration of trust, when you love someone so much you'd do anything, a giving of something you love, burning, giving up of something we really want..

And then I thought about those terms projected onto me. How do I become a pleasing offering/sacrifice to my God? For I truly am an object of worship to him. I was only given to this world/my parents/etc.. to be given back to my creator. I must become nothing. All of ME must be burnt away so that I become a pleasing aroma to him. A full trust that when I lose myself - all of me, my desires, my rights, all that is Bethany - I am given back to Him - pure. Refined. Smellin' good. Anyway, these may be a bit extreme - but if I was created to worship - and become a sacrifice given back to the king, it seems to make sense... I offer myself to you, my King.

On another note, I have been reading through this Captivating book. Let me tell you, Jesus has been meeting me on each page... but tonight he sneaked in to a hidden part of my heart... I got to the chapter on loving man. Men. Man. It's called, "Arousing Adam..." I think that John is writing, but I could be wrong... but he says... "...arousing Adam comes down to this: Need him. And believe in him. That is what a man needs to hear from his woman more than anything else. I need you. I need your strength. I believe in you. You have what it takes." And maybe you, like I have, have loved this way. But these lines stirred my heart. I know what this love is. And oh how I long to pour it out - let it just gush out - again. It brought tears as I reminisced and along with them, a joy - a hope - that I understand this love. Jesus has given me this love and ability to love man this way...

Further down the page the author warns against giving your love away to those who may not be "safe or good" men... quoting Jesus in Matthew 7... being careful not to throw your pearls to the pigs... "Look - be careful that you do not give something precious to someone, who at best, cannot recognize its beauty, or at worst, will trample on it." Consider your feminine heart and beauty your treasure, your pearls. I know this as well. What it is like to give myself so easily away to men... Seeking to be known and loved and filled, wanting someone to care for my pearls and cherish them. I also know what it's like to be trampled. For that beauty to be known and yet still stepped upon. Do you know this? I am almost positive that you do...

It's rare that I read a book as intimate as Captivating. Even sharing these quotes exposes so many of my own journal entries and hearts deepest waters. I absolutely love the honesty and vulnerability Stasi reveals to us on these pages. I keep saying, "I can't believe someone is writing this out for the world to read! This is my story! Did she steal some of these thoughts from the pages of MY journal?" I love it. I want to sit at her feet.

Another book that did the same was one I read months ago... "A Severe Mercy" by Sheldon Vanauken. It's just as intense...

Alrighty... I am going to finish reading this book and get to bed... I just wanted to share these thoughts that I've been putting off for awhile... I miss you and love you.

BGIRL.