SO long I know!!
Forgive me for my lack of updates! I do think of you often! So much has been going on recently. Lots of change that's for sure.
So as not to retype my "life"... Here are some emails I've sent...
(3/19) I got a promotion at work!!! I am SO excited. It was a pretty crazy week at work... Wednesday I was offered a job at Vision Service Group, a marketing company in Tacoma, and then on Thursday was faced with a pretty tense day with my manager and the store manager finding out about this opportunity. My general manager was "desperate" and asked me if he could do anything to keep me from going my lunch (regarding the opportunity) on Friday. I felt so confused and unsure. But my Manager, Chris, told me that I owed it to myself to go and at least hear the guy out. It's just funny because after the whole "bumped on the plane/missing half a day of work" ordeal, things were a bit awkward with Chris but Jesus totally broke through that and brought a refreshing and joy at work the next week... So then to be offered another position somewhere else seemed ironic. Okay, so that day (Thursday) I felt a bit overwhelmed with a decision that would be coming up... That afternoon I left work and Chris said something as I walked out the door... "Maybe something will be clearer tonight." (We have church on Thursdays and he teaches my class...) I wasn't sure what he meant, but I guess he had just got a call for a meeting himself for 5:00 that evening before church... Wellllllll - As soon as I got to church on Thursday night, Chris came up to me and said, "Bethany, I have to talk to you after church - Don't leave without finding me." And so we had class and I wasn't thinking too much about it... but I waited for him to finish and then he sat me down and said, "The church is hiring me full time and I start in 2 weeks!" I burst into tears. LOL. Whattttt am I going to do by myself at work without him?! He who embodies manager, pastor, friend, teacher, eyes to help me see the dealership like Jesus, life amidst a sometimes bleak work environment... WHAT is our general manager going to do! He about flipped today when I said I was POSSIBLY leaving. WHO will do YOUR job? And then he proceeds to tell me that he thinks that Tim (GM) will offer ME, HIS position. Chris is confident that this is from Jesus and that it is SO much FAVOR from the Lord for me - provision financially, respect, leadership - that it would be straight from Him. Although all this rang true, it still threw me off kilter and felt like "A LOT" to handle. A bit overwhelming. SO much change in so little time... AND I am supposed to keep quiet about it - No one from church or work can know until next week. Aiiiyaiiyaii!! So, I left a little fragile and pretty emotional. Friday morning I woke up at 5 needing to pray. Pray for conversations between Chris and Tim. Pray for guidance and wisdom. Pray that Jesus would protect the dealership from feelings of being abandoned, rejected or betrayed by his parting. It was just an intense morning. I got to work early and Chris said that he was going to tell Tim as soon as possible that morning. He also said that he and Jena (his wife) had got up at 5 too - and were interceding for the day. So I called Jena to hear what Jesus had told her about the situation and Chris broke the news to Tim. It went over with SUCH blessing from Tim to Chris. And moments later, they called me in and Tim offered me Chris' job as Business Development Manager!!! Tim totally spoke words of life and encouragement saying that he thinks I'll be great, that everyone already loves and respects me. That I have a platform to work from - with time spent already "shadowing" Chris and "knowing" the position. He laughed and said that he's never had a GIRL manager before and told me I'm not going to be able to cry as much. Haha.
So that's the story!! It's fully provision financially and the fun part is that I get to drive a DEMO and turn in my little black bean! Hehehe... I'm really excited for the opportunity to work more with people and get out from my corner and computer. (: It will be fantastic!!!!!
So not only has there been huge change with work, Jesus has also been performing surgery on my heart. Now to preface, you must listen to sermons at sermonindex.com - SPECIFICALLY - "A Call to Anguish" and "Ten Shekels and a Shirt". You will be blown away. This, my friends, has been a life/heart changing week. He is rooting out so much of my selfishness and removing all of ME in His ministry. I'm crying out for a breaking of my heart, because it is HARD!! I have been "doing Jesus Ministry" for SELFISH reasons - not just for myself but for others. For me to be healed and restored and others to be healed and restored. I've been using Jesus as means to an end. The end being "Jesus Ministry". Oh Jesus forgive me God for making my happiness and contentment the END all. Oh that I may forsake humanism. Ohhh Jesus, that it would be for your glory. THAT YOU would receive the PRIZE you deserve - that which you endured the PITS of hell and the CROSS and all my SIN for. Oh Jesus. For your GLORY. And yes Jesus - YOUR glory - the crumbs/the BY-PRODUCT is our healing and restoration but NOT the PRIME product. Oh JESUS. Even if I go to hell at the end of this life, YOU are WORTH living a righteous, holy, and self-less, self sacrificing life!!! JESUS forgive me!!!!! BREAKK MEE!!!! And so we begin to cry out. It's ALL for YOU Jesus. Take this quote,
"BLESS ME! Not because I am good, but because You are good. Bless me! Not because I deserve your blessing, but because it is Your nature to bless. You really can't helpt Yourself. I appeal not to who I am. You owe me nothing. I appeal only to who You are!" -The Parable, Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb. I highly recommend this book. I've only read this section. But the Parable is regarding a man who is in suffering. And God allows more suffering because his heart is proud even throughout his worship.
I think that's a pretty thorough update... Roommate stuff is pretty good. There has been some tension but it's funny how desperate prayer cryign out to the Lord can change your heart. Huh. (;
Life is changing lots. Jesus, thank you for your blessing.
So as not to retype my "life"... Here are some emails I've sent...
(3/19) I got a promotion at work!!! I am SO excited. It was a pretty crazy week at work... Wednesday I was offered a job at Vision Service Group, a marketing company in Tacoma, and then on Thursday was faced with a pretty tense day with my manager and the store manager finding out about this opportunity. My general manager was "desperate" and asked me if he could do anything to keep me from going my lunch (regarding the opportunity) on Friday. I felt so confused and unsure. But my Manager, Chris, told me that I owed it to myself to go and at least hear the guy out. It's just funny because after the whole "bumped on the plane/missing half a day of work" ordeal, things were a bit awkward with Chris but Jesus totally broke through that and brought a refreshing and joy at work the next week... So then to be offered another position somewhere else seemed ironic. Okay, so that day (Thursday) I felt a bit overwhelmed with a decision that would be coming up... That afternoon I left work and Chris said something as I walked out the door... "Maybe something will be clearer tonight." (We have church on Thursdays and he teaches my class...) I wasn't sure what he meant, but I guess he had just got a call for a meeting himself for 5:00 that evening before church... Wellllllll - As soon as I got to church on Thursday night, Chris came up to me and said, "Bethany, I have to talk to you after church - Don't leave without finding me." And so we had class and I wasn't thinking too much about it... but I waited for him to finish and then he sat me down and said, "The church is hiring me full time and I start in 2 weeks!" I burst into tears. LOL. Whattttt am I going to do by myself at work without him?! He who embodies manager, pastor, friend, teacher, eyes to help me see the dealership like Jesus, life amidst a sometimes bleak work environment... WHAT is our general manager going to do! He about flipped today when I said I was POSSIBLY leaving. WHO will do YOUR job? And then he proceeds to tell me that he thinks that Tim (GM) will offer ME, HIS position. Chris is confident that this is from Jesus and that it is SO much FAVOR from the Lord for me - provision financially, respect, leadership - that it would be straight from Him. Although all this rang true, it still threw me off kilter and felt like "A LOT" to handle. A bit overwhelming. SO much change in so little time... AND I am supposed to keep quiet about it - No one from church or work can know until next week. Aiiiyaiiyaii!! So, I left a little fragile and pretty emotional. Friday morning I woke up at 5 needing to pray. Pray for conversations between Chris and Tim. Pray for guidance and wisdom. Pray that Jesus would protect the dealership from feelings of being abandoned, rejected or betrayed by his parting. It was just an intense morning. I got to work early and Chris said that he was going to tell Tim as soon as possible that morning. He also said that he and Jena (his wife) had got up at 5 too - and were interceding for the day. So I called Jena to hear what Jesus had told her about the situation and Chris broke the news to Tim. It went over with SUCH blessing from Tim to Chris. And moments later, they called me in and Tim offered me Chris' job as Business Development Manager!!! Tim totally spoke words of life and encouragement saying that he thinks I'll be great, that everyone already loves and respects me. That I have a platform to work from - with time spent already "shadowing" Chris and "knowing" the position. He laughed and said that he's never had a GIRL manager before and told me I'm not going to be able to cry as much. Haha.
So that's the story!! It's fully provision financially and the fun part is that I get to drive a DEMO and turn in my little black bean! Hehehe... I'm really excited for the opportunity to work more with people and get out from my corner and computer. (: It will be fantastic!!!!!
So not only has there been huge change with work, Jesus has also been performing surgery on my heart. Now to preface, you must listen to sermons at sermonindex.com - SPECIFICALLY - "A Call to Anguish" and "Ten Shekels and a Shirt". You will be blown away. This, my friends, has been a life/heart changing week. He is rooting out so much of my selfishness and removing all of ME in His ministry. I'm crying out for a breaking of my heart, because it is HARD!! I have been "doing Jesus Ministry" for SELFISH reasons - not just for myself but for others. For me to be healed and restored and others to be healed and restored. I've been using Jesus as means to an end. The end being "Jesus Ministry". Oh Jesus forgive me God for making my happiness and contentment the END all. Oh that I may forsake humanism. Ohhh Jesus, that it would be for your glory. THAT YOU would receive the PRIZE you deserve - that which you endured the PITS of hell and the CROSS and all my SIN for. Oh Jesus. For your GLORY. And yes Jesus - YOUR glory - the crumbs/the BY-PRODUCT is our healing and restoration but NOT the PRIME product. Oh JESUS. Even if I go to hell at the end of this life, YOU are WORTH living a righteous, holy, and self-less, self sacrificing life!!! JESUS forgive me!!!!! BREAKK MEE!!!! And so we begin to cry out. It's ALL for YOU Jesus. Take this quote,
"BLESS ME! Not because I am good, but because You are good. Bless me! Not because I deserve your blessing, but because it is Your nature to bless. You really can't helpt Yourself. I appeal not to who I am. You owe me nothing. I appeal only to who You are!" -The Parable, Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb. I highly recommend this book. I've only read this section. But the Parable is regarding a man who is in suffering. And God allows more suffering because his heart is proud even throughout his worship.
I think that's a pretty thorough update... Roommate stuff is pretty good. There has been some tension but it's funny how desperate prayer cryign out to the Lord can change your heart. Huh. (;
Life is changing lots. Jesus, thank you for your blessing.
posted by bleev | 10:13 PM
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Congratulations!!
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