the best medication?

get your eyes off yourself.

seriously it totally works.

so it's been somewhat difficult this weekend but i figured out the best remedy! stop focusing on yourself and love others. so tonight as it seemed so many of my "rights" were ripped away here in the "comfort" of my home, i decided to go visit my friend from high school. she works at pizza hut and has for years. i told her i'd try and find her while at home, but then tonight when things got settled after a long day, i definitely didn't "feel" like going to hang out at the ph. but something inside me knew i was at a crossroads about 3 hours ago. i could choose (a) to stay at home and sulk around about how i have to go back with my brother tomorrow instead of getting extra time with my parents and ra... pity party myself about how i am at home but yet feel i haven't "been" here really - and how i long for intimacy with my family but at the same time finding myself so independent of them... so perhaps i'll mull it over and maybe even write it all out in my journal.... or (b) i'm going to visit my friend sara, whom i haven't seen for years and she's in far more need than i have ever experienced...

i chose (b) and it was SO worth it. sara and i had a great conversation. i loved catching up with her - regarding her own life, hearing about different people we graduated with and also thinking about her future... she is due to have her first baby in a few days. so that's her deal. we met in fourth grade and i remember how much i loved her!!! we used to bend paperclips and pretend they were retainers... i remember the first time i had my mom call her dad to see if she could spend the night at my house. i liked her a lot. and today - though we've traveled different roads - i love her the same. she is precious. i believe and hope for so much more for her life. she and her boyfriend are moving to LA this winter... it's going to be a big change for her, since she hasn't really left her entire life. it was also super fun to share about what is going on in my life - a great reminder of jesus' goodness - and how i am thankful. a push forward to have confidence in his future grace as well. so i return to my home a couple hours later - much more at peace. there's a change in my spirit and peace in my home. it's good to be back. (:

so that's the deal for the evening.

on another note. haley got married today. we took some great photos and hopefully some family ones turned out fabulous. i'm so glad we were able to all be together - oh migosh. you should SEE my RA RA. she is SO cool. if i were 2.5 - i'd be her best friend. serious. BFF! (: *laugh* she is a blast and a half. we went to the swimming pool together today. what FUN!! she calls me boo boo. i've GOT to get that girl a webcam. i'm not sure what she's going to do (or my parents for that matter) when she leaves. it will be a day of much tears, that's for sure. i feel the anticipation, the fear, and sadness - even as i am in the house this weekend. i think i could cry on their behalf right now!

alright dear ones, i am going to go to bed now - with a freshness.

oh, and just real quick, do you know how much i love to be in your timezone? it's fabulous. i guess you don't realize it - until you get back!

bgirl.